I lived life as it was required,
as well as I could.

I am tired.
I am bored.

There is nothing of interest after I wake,
from a sleep that is almost irrelevant.

You see the feeling of uselessness I know you do.

I feel your own hatetred for this thing we experience.
I know you do bit there is nothing we can do.
There is noting we can change,
we can hide………..

But the hiding does what for us?
A temporary forgiveness?
A timely given of….
well forgiveness.

Useless for more than a few moments
Offensive to the those who think with more than their fear.


there is black,
just inches from you.

you want her.
you feel her hard, coldness.
you know here.
you have felt her before, when you played…
the thing you played when you were just sad.
So now you remember her and the posibilities movie through
your mind like cheese in your mouth.
like fish fried and consumed in your…..mouth.
you mouth, but NOW
we have business.
Shall we die tonight because things have moved SOUTH
(i hate that term and I will address it but not now.

I want to live.
I want to be pleased,
but they may not be able to exquisite together.

now what do I do.



I’m not interested in committing suicide. Let me just get that out of the way.


This life is getting so very ridiculous, I am not sure why I am here.

I reconnected with two of my three children after a lifetime of being an ass, and they are not all that pleased.

I made a connection with my youngest daughter and she is really not interested.

Those three where 75% of why I stayed alive.

So the reason to live is short now, and it just feels ridiculous.

The feeling of love and interest is slow to never.

The orgasms are less.

So what keeps me breathing?

I mean really.


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