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I lived life as it was required,
as well as I could.

But,
I am tired.
I am bored.

There is nothing of interest after I wake,
from a sleep that is almost irrelevant.

You see the feeling of uselessness I know you do.

I feel your own hatetred for this thing we experience.
I know you do bit there is nothing we can do.
There is noting we can change,
we can hide………..

But the hiding does what for us?
A temporary forgiveness?
A timely given of….
well forgiveness.

Useless for more than a few moments
Offensive to the those who think with more than their fear.

.:S1:.

Sep
10

I am here

I wonder.
Each time I consider you,
I wonder.

Would you be the one to take this dream threw fruition?
Is it you that will take this bond I write within,
off of me so I might breath the air given to us by,
the breath of the universe?

I sob.
I sob when I remember you,
taken a breath close to my bed wondering,
will he live again? Will he live and love me,
again?

I did.
I do.

I am here.

Sometimes I lean on the window in my office and look at the beautify of the summer.
Then other times I look out of the window of my office and I see people
living life as it should be lived. The way i would like to live it, however because
of a couple of apparently HORRID mistakes good life is no longer available to me.

Some say the things you do come back to haunt you, and perhaps that is true.
I would even say I deserve it. What I will also say is that it moves my mind to places
it should not be. Sadness. Sadness forever.
is that what I caused. if it is, the punishments fit the crimes.

I hope you never feel as bad as I do.

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