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there is black,
just inches from you.

you want her.
you feel her hard, coldness.
you know here.
you have felt her before, when you played…
the thing you played when you were just sad.
So now you remember her and the posibilities movie through
your mind like cheese in your mouth.
like fish fried and consumed in your…..mouth.
you mouth, but NOW
we have business.
Shall we die tonight because things have moved SOUTH
(i hate that term and I will address it but not now.

I want to live.
I want to be pleased,
but they may not be able to exquisite together.

now what do I do.



I’m not interested in committing suicide. Let me just get that out of the way.


This life is getting so very ridiculous, I am not sure why I am here.

I reconnected with two of my three children after a lifetime of being an ass, and they are not all that pleased.

I made a connection with my youngest daughter and she is really not interested.

Those three where 75% of why I stayed alive.

So the reason to live is short now, and it just feels ridiculous.

The feeling of love and interest is slow to never.

The orgasms are less.

So what keeps me breathing?

I mean really.


I think in my small life sometimes,
what is it all for?

There is nothing for me really
What is my joy?

It is not even giving anymore because they have taken the ability of that away from me, ha ha.

Yes I laugh at it because there is noting left to do.

I am a sad man when I consider it.

I am a sad man when I see me in the mirror when i shave on the rear occasions.

I used to shaved daily but is seems so useless now I rather not waste the razor for I will need to replace it, and where or where will the money come from other than that woman who has been loving me since the time I have , well you know then……..
yes I have had the drink but what else is there for I am alone once again but how can I be angry about it.

Most of it, hmmm all of it is my fault if i walk from the beginning of it all, ha ha no but it might as well be because if not i would be blaming Adam and he has enough on his shoulders with eve and all of that, ha ha

Ehhhhhh the circle continues and there is no real resolution, until, well yeah, there will be no resolution.

They try to tell you that there is a resolution but there is no such thing because we are made of things that are so far beyond is that we cannot even consider it. ha ha. ya the ha ha again because it is so very beyond us.

I come to you become there is nothing else and I don’t believe in you. I believe in something more that myself and you are the closest one that will accept me, so here I am.

I considered GOD, but found only god some time ago with my uncle who was a preacher in Myrtle Baptist Church in Louisiana. He worked with me as a mother’s brother would with her son, and I believed what I could but it all seemed so ridiculous. I did try but there never seemed to be a reality to it because the world continued to present it’s self as I pretended to be a deacon. So what did I do. As an early teen i took advantaged of my position and bedded every women in the name of “god” that I could. “AND I watched men in the church I new do the same thing”.

“blessings unto you”

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