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When I was with her she seemed tired almost. 
A thing in ruin sometimes but lived just the same by me. I wanted her to be something she was not and she showed me what happens to those who thought as I did. 
She removed me and told me it would be even better. She showed me that I was a fool. 

I am no longer THAT fool but I must still be without her. 
It has been more time than much of the population has been alive. I have been without her and my heart hurts and I know it is my punishment for abandoning her. 

flying through this dusty wind
trying to find a safe place to land.
i’ve dirtied so much
Can’t find a fan, a safe place for the man.

sadness grinds at me like
the tire on my old car,
an old man, in an old bar
you know what that’s like?

straightening my glasses and posting the last thing, on my thing
blasted favorites
they are not more than me.

I think in my small life sometimes,
what is it all for?

There is nothing for me really
What is my joy?

It is not even giving anymore because they have taken the ability of that away from me, ha ha.

Yes I laugh at it because there is noting left to do.

I am a sad man when I consider it.

I am a sad man when I see me in the mirror when i shave on the rear occasions.

I used to shaved daily but is seems so useless now I rather not waste the razor for I will need to replace it, and where or where will the money come from other than that woman who has been loving me since the time I have , well you know then……..
yes I have had the drink but what else is there for I am alone once again but how can I be angry about it.

Most of it, hmmm all of it is my fault if i walk from the beginning of it all, ha ha no but it might as well be because if not i would be blaming Adam and he has enough on his shoulders with eve and all of that, ha ha

Ehhhhhh the circle continues and there is no real resolution, until, well yeah, there will be no resolution.

They try to tell you that there is a resolution but there is no such thing because we are made of things that are so far beyond is that we cannot even consider it. ha ha. ya the ha ha again because it is so very beyond us.

I come to you become there is nothing else and I don’t believe in you. I believe in something more that myself and you are the closest one that will accept me, so here I am.

I considered GOD, but found only god some time ago with my uncle who was a preacher in Myrtle Baptist Church in Louisiana. He worked with me as a mother’s brother would with her son, and I believed what I could but it all seemed so ridiculous. I did try but there never seemed to be a reality to it because the world continued to present it’s self as I pretended to be a deacon. So what did I do. As an early teen i took advantaged of my position and bedded every women in the name of “god” that I could. “AND I watched men in the church I new do the same thing”.

“blessings unto you”

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